How To Get What You Want By Asking The Right Way

Have you ever asked for something and got rejected? A couple of friends wanted to attend Ad Tech in San Francisco next week but didn’t want to pay the $1,695 it takes to get a full conference pass. Since both friends ran blogs, I told them to email Ad Tech for a press pass. The friend with the bigger blog applied and was rejected. The friend with the smaller blog got approved within an hours of sending the email.

It’s All In How You Ask

Why was the bigger blog rejected and the smaller blog approved? The answer becomes clear once you read the emails each site wrote. Here is an excerpt from the bigger blog.

I was hoping I could receive a free press pass to the San Francisco Ad:tech conference. I am a web entrepreneur and blogger, and would be covering the event from my popular blog which has an RSS readership of over 1,400.

It will be my first conference ever attended, so I am a bit unsure as to how the process for press passes goes. Would I be correct so assume that it would be equivalent to the Full Conference Pass?

And here is an excerpt from the smaller blog.

Hello this is [insert name] from [insert blog] and I need a press pass to cover Ad:Tech. I was notified by ValueClick and Google about your show. They said we should check it out.

Our site covers [Insert fluff here]. See you in San Francisco.

The bigger blog made several mistakes. The first mistake was he wasn’t sure of himself. Instead of saying, “I need a press pass,” he was “hoping” he could receive one. His other mistakes were saying his blog was “personal” and admitting he was a trade show newbie.

Posture and Control

In the PR business, perception is everything and service will always go to the site or blog that the PR rep perceive as better for the show. If you come across as unsure of yourself or on the verge of begging, you can bet your bottom dollar you won’t be getting an invite. The last thing a PR rep wants to deal with is an inexperienced newbie at her show.

It’s all about posture and control. If you wanted to be treated like a somebody, then you have act like a somebody. While it might seem the best way to go about asking for something is to be really nice about it, in real life, being nice usually puts you in last place. This is not to say you should be mean. That would be stupid. What it does mean is you should project an image of good posture and control.

When I want something, I assume the position that I am going to get it without question. Instead of asking, can you, would you or could you, I like to say I require, send it to, put the following names on the list. People like to see confidences. It’s a natural magnate. An email that display it will always be put in front of an email that is timid. Keep that in mind the next you ask for something.