This post was guest blogged by Alex Shalman (RSS).
This is part 2 of our ongoing discussion about how to get a girlfriend. I want you guys to all have an awesome and fun life, and I’m worried that John’s awesome advice about making money online is driving you to work too hard and neglect your humanly needs.
Before we even begin today’s discussion make sure you read part 1 of this series on Building Confidence. It is a necessary prelude to today’s topic.
Approaching.
Building confidence is awesome, and then it comes time to walk the walk. Here are some things that have worked for me, personally, as well as things I have observed from friends.
Part 2 – The Approach
- Be Interesting. Pick up lines are generally considered a joke. Even if you do find some funny or captivating openers you will eventually need to be a person of substance and interest in order to have a great conversation.
- Don’t Be a Tool. We’ll define tool as a ‘jerk’ here. Nice guys get a bum wrap, and supposedly jerks get all the girls, but I’m not talking about a quick lay, nor am I talking about an unhealthy relationship. I’ll discuss jerks vs. nice guys in a future post, and if you ask me about being nice — it works, just don’t be too nice!
- Individualize. Do not fall into a pattern – any pattern. The trick is that all people are individuals and have their own unique quirks. When approaching, be ready to uncover that which makes this person special. By seeing past the initial facade you will find the real gem.
- Find Them. In order to approach a girl, you have to find one. A good question I always ask my single friends is… Where would the type of girl that you would be interested in hang out? Do not waste your time elsewhere, go there. If your only hobby is to make money online, go to affiliate events and find yourself a make money hottie.
- Eye Contact. I can’t stress enough how important eye contact is. Not only does direct eye contact exude confidence, but it leaves an opening for relatedness, rapport, closeness, and intimacy as a possibility. If you look around, at your feet, or anywhere but the person you are speaking to, you are relating sign of weakness — just like a scared animal!
- Numbers Game. The trick is to not only be ready for rejection, but welcome it. Not every fine woman is going to find you attractive, be single and available, and interested in you all at the same time. If they don’t dig you it’s their loss. Find the next woman that you would like to give the opportunity to get to know you – approach more.
- Change of Scenery. When approaching it’s fun to take them on an adventure with you. Suggest leaving the location at which you met and head over somewhere else. This will be your adventure together.
I remember a very specific situation where my wing woman and I got 3 girls to leave the club at which we met and head over to a totally different club. We bonded in the cab and this made all of us one team. - Wing Woman. Want to not seem creepy to girls when you approach? A great tactic, so great it might be considered cheating, is to be seen with a female friend by your ‘target’. When I was single I didn’t always go out to a club or lounge just to meet girls. Sometimes I went to hang out with my very good female friends and have a good time. These are the times when girls were checking me out, and even approached me. However, I personally would not date someone I met at the club. I date girls I meet at the library!
- Be Genuine. Whatever it is that you decide to say, I highly recommend that you stay genuine to who you are. Again, this article isn’t the purpose of a lay (although whatever you do with this information is up to you), rather it is to support you in finding a delicious relationship. A great relationship will not be built on a foundation of lies.
- Be fun. Seriously, if you aren’t planning on being fun, at any point during your approach, than maybe you need to reconsider why you want a relationship. Relationships can be very fun, and just as you would want to be dating someone really fun, they’re probably looking for the same thing.
- Do It Differently. Just like you wouldn’t make any money online if you were doing the same exact thing as everyone else, you aren’t going to get the highest quality girlfriend by trying what the last guys tried. Do something unique and spontaneous.
- Move In Immediately. There is a small gap between when you first see a woman, and she notices you back, which you could use to approach. Seriously, if you wait more than 5-10 seconds that window closes and now you are a creepy guy that was staring and now decided to come over.
- You’re In Charge. Do not let the fact that you are approaching deter you from the fact that you are in control and basically interviewing people to be a potential partner. Do not sell out for someone that you think is not going to be an awesome partner for you.
While I don’t use pickup lines in real life, I think they are great to laugh at. If you know any funny ones, share them in the comments below. Also, make sure you subscribe so you do not miss any posts from this ongoing series.